Wordz this week have been contributed by both hares - there's a rare one!

Capt Fantaaastic - Cunning Linguist spent the Friday night in a spooky hotel in Frankfurt. She promised that she had no goolies during the night, but she seemed very tired the following day.

Pooper and Capt Fantaastic received a text message from CL early on Saturday morning to say that she had just landed and was off to bed and would meet at CF Gaff at 2:00.

True to her word CL arrives bang on time and the three intrepid hares set off to lay the trail. The appalling weather had fortunately turned for the better so at least we weren't going to be soaked.

Laying the run was fairly uneventful, except for the copious number of Richard the Thirds that had to be negotiated on the Stotfold bye-ways. Education was on the agenda as CL explained the procedure required to sex a parrot. Do not enquire how this is done unless you have a very strong constitution.

Sunday arrives and it's a beautiful crisp morning and the skies are blue. The hall decorating team assemble early and do a cracking job. The most stunning decoration award must go to Felicity (Little Mekon) who looks even prettier than normal when she is adorned in tinsel.

Cunning Linguist - The weather was sorted, and a merry crowd gathered eager to start another Sunday morning run. The circle was called and after welcoming a returnee and noting that Shaggy appeared to be missing a certain hashit the hares were called in to pre-warn of any potential hazards such as the ample amount of doggy doo, broken glass, a horse and some interesting checks to look out for, not to mention the apparatus and before we knew it ONON was called and the pack left the church car park and split in various directions to take up the trail.

CF - The pack set off bang on time and the usual set of FRBs race off in all directions. After a few false trails, the correct path is found and the pack then sets off towards Stotfold high street. A falsie is encountered and its back along the parallel road where lo and behold Cunning Linguist is waiting for us at the end.

At the end of the next leg, Capt. F's usual ladies check is reached. The only lady there is Underlay who immediately sets off on the correct trail. Capt F. in a panic instructs a male hasher to check out another of the trails in the interests of keeping the pack together (the rules are only there to be broken).

Anyway the ruse works, and finally the group set off as a group along the correct trail. At the end of a short stretch, the trail splits into three. Underlay again goes for the correct trails (by now I am sure she has got the GM's navigation thingy hidden in one of her undergarments). As it happens, this time other hashers co-operate and the false trails are found first. Did anyone else notice the crop busting short cut perpetrated by F'ka Duk when he found the falsie at the end of his chosen trail.

CL - After various falsies were run the on call took the pack towards the shops on the main road where more false trails were discovered and eventually everyone was led back down towards the primary school to another check. From there it was down the track adjacent to the school and through a housing estate and on to a ladies check marked in a very distinct manner (tit check) courtesy of Captain Fantaaastic. It was quickly established that we were then to head off past a church into the fields full of doggy doo and have opportunity to wish a good morning to a local horse. Three or four more falsies later led us along a stream to the XX check and thus a Christmas Kiss. Tis the season to be jolly after all.

CF - Capt F. is now getting super excited as we are approaching the Missing Toe check where he gets to kiss all the harriets on the flimsy reason that it's a Xmassy thing to do. BOF & Underlay both look extremely worried as they are the first harriets to arrive.

After a period of group hugging/snogging the pack set off and I can't remember much else, except Mabel disappearing along a long (unmarked) trail. It's always great to see a renowned FRB disappearing into the distance along a false trail. The next check is a back-check for the first seven and it's a great result as Pecker, Fka Duk, Knobber, Dan Dare, Scooper, My Little Pony and Giblets are sent to the back.

The hash seemed to particularly enjoy the obstacle course that we set in the children's park. But I did not see a single hasher perform the mandatory 10 chin-ups on the bar thingy.

CL - From the kissing cuddling check it was off towards Stotfold mill and down Mill Lane where there was chance for Not My Bitch and Gripper to take a dip and the FRBs went off at full pelt past the cemetery only to be met with a 7-check and the magnificent seven made their way to the back of the pack where Muddy Waters and Munchkin very helpfully ran backwards as far as they could to make the magnificent seven run even further!!!

After some confusion with on on being called in various directions a route was finally decided upon. Many a call for 'petrol' was called and over the bridge we reached a held check which gave the knitting circle opportunity to catch up and not just on the weeks happenings!!

Into the park and onto the swings, slide, parallel bars etc and chin ups were done or attempted by various Shagpile then led everyone round the tennis courts and into another housing estate. Good effort on the Christmas light front here and by now we were well on our way back to the church hall to party! Only a few more checks and falsies which were run or ignored and after a dash down Oliver's Lane the On Inn was located and we all made it back in one piece.

CF - That's just about it and the run finishes after just about 55mins and its time to party except for one sorrowful hare as Capt F. has to disappear off to W**K. Sorry I could not be there chaps, but from the reports I have heard, it sound like it was yet again another wonderful hash event.

During the circle, down-downs were awarded for the following. The hares - (except Capt F. - can I have mine next week?). Poopa, for competitive running - (when will that boy learn). Shaggy got all the hashits plus the Good Crack award for not wearing the dress hashit.

CL - Down downs went to returnee Taffy for returning, Ringkisser for having left behind some personal property, Blow Job for never getting a down down, Pooper, Scooper, and Munchkin for blatant competitiveness, and of course Shaggy for the lack of hashit from the previous week (he was also awarded the well-rank hashit again) awards went to G-String for having done lots of runs and he was presented with a rugby shirt. I think that was it sorry if I forgot anyone...the kiddies Xmas party followed and was a big hit and even Father Christmas was around to say hello and deliver some pressies!!

ONON - Capt Fantaaastic, Cunning Linguist & Pooper