These Words were penned by Scribe Shagpile who was running for GM - note the blatant electioneering - Archive Ed.

Gorjoyce went away for the weekend. Bell End laid and hared a beautiful run through the pre-autumnal countryside around St Paul's Walden and Whitwell. Pongo enjoyed a pleasant amble, ably back-haring the run then, in honour of it being run 633 (was it? - Archive Ed), retired early due to mosquito bites.

Having got that out of the way, the real business of the day began. The cunning hare had laid the hash from a pub holding a beer festival. Suitably equipped the hash retired to a nearby field for the circle. This was to be a circle after the fashion of South East Asia - in other words it was longer than the perfectly timed one hour hash.

There was a GM's spot, then - because the RA was today's hare and could not act as RA - there was a secret RA (Paintball) appointed by the GM, a secret secret RA (F'K'A Duck) appointed by the GM and a secret RA (Pecker) appointed by the real RA who had not been told by the GM that he had already appointed two.

Bell End had a down down as the hare, then another for his birthday, then another - with G-String - for the usual hash disorganisation in ending up with three secret RAs. Things then got a bit vague. A newie had his drink (what was his name?) G-String had another down down for allowing, for the second week running, Shoot (the dog) to add a new mountain to the hash trail. Pecker, Ringkisser (and another) had down downs for numbered runs. Sasquatch had hashed in the brightest, shiniest new pair of shoes seen on the hash in a long time, and so quite rightly had to drink from them. Apparently teeth braces in the brave new world are far inferior to those back in the good old days and now dissolve if exposed to anything at all, and so he ended up drinking water. (Will that make them rust?). Screamer was brought into the circle for punishment as his mother, for not bringing him up properly and allowing him to come to the hash in new shoes.

Shagpile (who will most likely be GM next year) and Leo (Who! a moment ago he had a hash name! - ED), amongst others, were punished for playing with themselves in the circle. A horde of hashers was brought in to share two pints, through straws, for ignoring the On On call. My Little Pony was punished for GPS use on the hash (the actual culprit had earlier made a break for it on a bike). F'K'A Duck was punished for using a dog (Gripper) to molest Doughnut (sic - Archive Ed), whilst Florence was punished for attempting to brain the RA with a log, which she claimed she had thrown into a tree to try and get some conkers.

It was noted that both Pecker and G-String (for the second week running) had failed to wear the hashits. I am sure punishment will follow. Finally White Rabbit did it again. She was awarded a down down for finishing the hash, looking around the car park and preparing to call the police to report her car stolen...having cycled to the hash!

The circle finally ended, Bell End left to keep up H5's end at Pan Asia Hash in KL, and in Bangkok, Bali and Phuket. The next hash is Langford - I think. I was busy with my manhood in a bush by this time.

Don't Vote Bell End for GM!

ONON