Run No. 631 21st September 2003

Rowney Warren, Chicksands

Runners:  26
Mutts:  -
Ankle Biters:  -
Knitting Circle:  -
Apres:  -
Newies/Returnees:  -

Rowney Warren was looking splendid in its late summer colours. The RA had done an excellent job in ordering ideal hashing weather so the scene was set for a great run. The GM called the circle, one newie in the shape of Hartley was introduced and then the ON OFF was called. Pecker led the way across the road and found the first dust. Now those of you who have laid runs in RW will know that it can end up to be quite a 'tight' run, with a danger of laying bits of the trail quite close to each other. This was the case at this early point of the run, but a lot of very obvious dobs of dust were laid so that the pack would follow round to the left. Pecker of course, who NEVER follows the dust, took a right turn and was followed by a handful of FRBs. Swiftly heading to the left my cries of ONON to the pack were just too late to prevent Pecker & co running slap-bang into the ON INN! Doh!! Fortunately no-one was as bloody-minded as me and they all carried on with the run instead of going for the early shower.

Stallion found himself as FRB at the first bar check, and thereafter Screamer and Nik-Nak came to the first check. False trails led off in three directions, all of which were called simultaneously. This split the pack, except for the perennial check hoverers (you know who you are!). Underlay however had spotted a smaller track leading back towards the direction in which we had come. Off she went and was soon heard calling ON ON. It was the real trail of course and she was soon out of sight, with just a faint squeaky ONON floating back on the breeze indicating the direction.

Dust was lost a short time after this and everything came to a halt. It took some prompting from yours truly to encourage the reluctant pack to start scouting around for the trail, but once again Underlay found it. A ladies check was next, and some very cunning falsies had been planned. Shaggy would probably have describe this as 'intelligent haring' had he have been there. Sadly latecomers Good Crack and Rajah now turned up having run the wrong way up a crucial bar/falsie. They spilled the beans to the pack that it was a false trail that way. Underlay was still being inspired and was seen legging it up the true trail but yet to find the dust. Now was the time for a cunning hare trick that I learnt from Smiffo. "No dust that way" I lied to Underlay and in-for-a-penny etc. I continued "and Rajah and Good Crack are lying b***ards, the trail's down that way". Phew! recovered it! Only Underlay seemed to spot this deliberate falsehood, and as I am fortunate to be married to her I can expect to be reminded of my deceit for now to eternity.

I should mention here that my fellow co-hare G-String was doing an admirable job of back haring and was laying helpful arrows for late comers all over the shop. Sadly although RW now had more arrows scattered around it than the Little Big Horn, most of them pointed the wrong way. G-String hadn't laid the first half of the trail and really had no idea where it went!

What's left to describe dear reader? You'll have noticed (if you are reading this on the web site) that we had five dogs on the run this time. About this point of the run, we (me) became aware that we were two dogs down. Underlay being chief Whipper In (what goes on in our bedroom is none of your concern) was sent back to drag the mutts out of the stinking ditch they had found. Pecker, hoping to repeat his early hare outguessing, was suckered into running an horrible up-hill non-falsie (N.B. Non-falsie: a virtual trail where no dust exists, but looks so likely that a hashers runs it).

The ON-INN was discovered once again and the run came to a Oh-too-soon end. The BBQ and beer beckoned. Down-downs were awarded to many, most of which I missed as I was trying to stop Not-My-Bitch dragging a giant redwood trunk through the circle.

ON ON You Nice People

Just after these Words had been emailed out, a second set from co-hare G-String were received and distributed - Archive Ed

Here's a bonus - more Words! G-String surprised me by actually sending in some Words for once. Here they are:

Howdy Hashers, Wasn't it an artfully crafted run set in the most beautiful surroundings? We thought so too.

Thanks to G-String showing up a staggering 40 minutes late for haring duties, (a new personal best), Shagpile had completed nearly two thirds of the run on his own by the time of G-String's arrival (hence G-String's vacant look and misdirecting arrows on Sunday). This was probably for the best given the potential for losing hashers in the warren that is Rowney Maze, (or something like that).

The highlight of run laying day was unquestionably Ebony's protection of the GM in a hairy 'buffalo sized dog attacks buffalo sized man' drama. The Hares, replete with a bevy of hash dogs, were charged down by two of the biggest beasts ever to walk the earth. To say these dogs were large was an under statement: the last time your correspondent saw something of this ilk it was pulling a plough through a rice paddy. Ebony, fearless as ever, leapt on the huge beastie and sent it packing with its tail (both of them) tucked firmly between its legs. Thank you Ebs!

On on to Sunday and an on-time arrival at Rowney Warren for G-String and Skidmark raised a few eyebrows of its own. Time to circle up only for G-String to realise that he had packed 2 tonne of hash BBQ gear on top of his hash shoes. Oh well, its not like he was going to be running anyway so the sandals will do just fine (incidentally, they were new and no-one spotted - hee hee!)

Steve, a recent newie returned for more entertainment and brought with him newie Harvey. Underlay and Munchkin had birthdays (right there on the spot) whilst Underlay and Shagpile also shared an anniversary. The weather was spot on, the forest looked gorgeous, the only thing left to do was to get out there and get hashing.

The only stand-out memory we have of the run itself is the finding of the on-inn within 30 seconds of leaving the circle. Pecker and Sasquatch gracefully ignored what they had seen and headed off down the real trail and took us into the woods. After that it was all just rural eye candy.

Penetrator, Rajah and Good Crack (who arrived a little late) eventually found us through the woods, although this must be as much luck as anything because the Hash was rather quiet this week. Perhaps it was the serene surroundings.

Down downs were awarded to the hares for a damnedly fine trail, to Underlay for notching up 200 runs and then, as it appeared that the beer supply may run out, to G-String for:

  • having a dog that dumped on the run;
  • having a dog that whizzed in the circle;
  • having a dog that whizzed on his own lost property;
  • having lost property;
  • wearing sandals on the run;
  • taking the circle as GM even though he was a hare; and
  • notching up 100 runs.

Several others were dragged into the circle for culpable behaviour, including Cap'n Haddock for refusing to leave his bits alone, White Rabbit for some dazzling dizzyism, No Knickers for some first rate apprentice-dizzyism, to Rajah for failing to pay attention and no doubt some others as well. Anybody else that was down downed after that has passed from memory.

Thank you to Shagpile for some top run laying (with precision GPS planning you should note!) and to the hash for making it a cracking day out.

On on to next week where we are assured the RA has laid on a beer festival to celebrate his birthday.

G-String and Shagpile