I was very touched by the number of compliments on completion of the run. It made my head swell so much so that I thought I would indulge myself and make this report more of a series of pointers that hopefully will help some newies. Although I would agree it was a good run there were three major factors in my favour.

• Excellent hashing country - on a historical note it was the first venue of Herts Hash House Harriers back in 1985
• Expert tuition from past masters
• 15+ years of experience in laying runs that included some real cock-ups

In planning a run I aim for the following:

1. Keep the pack together but give the FRBs a good run whilst making provision for a few short cuts
2. Try to disorientate the pack
3. Target getting back to the pub in just over one hour
4. Keep off roads as much as possible
5. Enjoy wonderful views (and snowdrops!)

Now to illustrate points with this run. Just out of sight of the pub the first false trail gave late arrivals time to join the pack. At the next check the two false trails were down hill - this takes some of the steam out of the FRBs. The trail going through a 'tree tunnel' helped to cause disorientation. The check on the smelly farm yard discouraged check hovering with even more down hill falsies. A nice ridge run with outstanding views. The area around the 'pink thatched cottage' held check was a real gift with plenty of alternative routes but good as gold the pack went for the 'tree tunnel' with plenty of shiggy whilst the tail end harriets and Shaggy were able to take the yellow brick road short cut leading back to the pub.

If all the above seems very smug, I could make it even worse by quoting the half dozen 'P's - Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

Enough of lecturing, the real tale is that half the Hash seemed to be suffering from hangovers. At the start G-String and Skidmark were still busy brushing their teeth, some were exhausted trying to find the pub, and there were a number of walking wounded to bring up the rear. We circled up, hands up - I did not make a note of who got a down down but can remember Skidmark for being hungover, G-String for making a cock-up with a name, My Little Pony for his birthday, but best of all Capt'n Haddock who, with a backward throw managed to cover the GM in beer.

On-on
Pongo (now I remember getting a down-down for tying a Sainsbury's bag flag to a marker post)