Run No. 596 19th January 2003

The Stone Jug, Clophill

Runners:  25
Mutts:  -
Ankle Biters:  -
Knitting Circle:  -
Apres:  -
Newies/Returnees:  -

Goodcrack offered her apologies for not being with us as she had a problem which caused her to be under the doctor. We all wish her blossoming health in the near future.

Deadmeat and Donut laid run no. 597 (596 me thinks - Archive Ed.) on a sunny and tranquil Saturday afternoon after sampling a super pint of Shefford ale in the Stone Jug and being refused permission for our happy band to share their car park, it being their busiest time and all that!

Armed with that 'Essential Tool of Hashers' OS Explorers map 193 we set out to design a delightful Sunday Hash.

The rain which lashed down for 15 solid hours Saturday evening kindly ceased 10 mins before the ON ON. The change of start venue, the Village Hall 300 hundred yards away, proved only a minor obstacle.At the initiating Circle there were no birthdays, newies or announcements. The horns were awarded to Pussies Galore and Skidmark. We set off at 11.05 full of expectation and excitement for a 1 HOUR HASH!!.

Brilliant! All 3 false trails were found: Smiffo crossing the playing field, Pecker, gobsmacked that the footpath by the field eventually stopped at the second stile down the hill was not the true trail and Tight Wad who found the long falsie up the lane.The correct trail was eventually found at the opposite side of the playing field, down to the main village street. 5 Bar led the charge down Mill Lane toward the A507 to a washed away invisible bar, probably expecting to cross the A507 as the main road which Deadmeat had alluded to in his circle preamble. Back up the hill past picturesque cottages to Back Street, past the Stone Jug (enabling Donut to leg it to the Greensand Ridge Path to create the ON INN sign, which clashed with the normal run) and down Kiln Lane to the village centre for a H5 check. As Shagpile and Ebony, his four legged friend can't count and Ebony never knows when or how to stop, he was the 6th to run to the back for which the RA duly awarded him a down down in the Circle.

In the village centre there is an ancient 'Pound' which gave Bell End the idea of adopting if a 'portable' version were created. What better tool could be imagined to enable the RA to perform his dastardly duties and maintain order in his flock!!

Smiffo sped up and over the pedestrian bridge, fully 400 yards in his determination to cross the MAIN ROAD! Alas it was the A507 again and of course a disappointing FT. Nevertheless he was thrilled to find that he could nip across the road only a 20 yards short cut to rejoin the correct route over the A6 and toward Maulden.

F'K A Duck found the neat little trail into Maulden Woods by the side of the new housing development. Perhaps it was his connection to the building industry which inexorably drew him there. Ably assisted by Smiffo they helped us all scramble up the steep and bramble covered slope to gain the trail. OOH! They were strong!! We were now in heaven. A network of criss-crossing soft paths offering many opportunities for the hashers to search out the trail, get lost, have a rest etc. A ladies check was led by Screamer, and Underlay found the real trail after Snow White also found a falsie. Whilst Donut guided the walking hashers to the A6 via a short cut, Ringer, F'KA Duck and Paintball explored a path down a steep slope west and away from the correct route. When he laid this FT Donut assured me "no one in their right minds will go down there". So does this indicate that not everyone in the Hash IS OF SOUND MIND?? Or perhaps the Hare also has this characteristic, since he also went there to set it. Well, after a few more minutes hithering and thithering the trail led to the A6 where we held a check to enable safe passage.

Across the road and up the steep wooded hill led us to the Greensand Ridge Walk, down a path to Back Street again , the ONINN and a well earned rest.

The Down-Downs:

Deadmeat and Donut for laying the trail, Wanker the Banker received a tankard as a deca-runner, Shagpile for his 6th person checkback, Florence for dobbing GM for discussing W**k when he was actually discussing H5 matters??!!, and Tight Wad for something-or-other. The Hashit was awarded to Smiffo for reasons beyond WURDZ.

ONON

Deadmeat and Donut