Run No. 560 13th May 2002
The Three Tuns, Ashwell
Ankle Biters: -
Knitting Circle: -
Penetrator and Ringkisser arrive at Ashwell on Sunday afternoon wearing shorts and tee shirt to find the village open to the Public. Not a good time to recce a run or to start laying flour. So we decided to do the car boot sale and a few cups of tea with a slice of cake, very civilized, and decided to lay the run on Monday evening.
First mistake. Woke up Monday morning to find it raining. Spent all day w**king (add what you like or, an, or al) trying to decide whether to lay the trail from the car due to the inclement weather. When we arrived at the Three Tuns it was a case of which was the worst punishment, to not lay the run and be hung drawn and quartered, or brave the elements and lay a run. Being cowards the latter won the day. So off we set both of us carrying bags of flour. 2 hours later arrived back to the pub for a coffee to warm up before the off.
Quick circle up. Gor-Joyce getting out of her car just in time, trying not to get too wet. Off we set over the stepping stones, not an original idea but it was raining and Ebony seemed to enjoy it. Through some shiggy and on on was called. After a couple of checks Giblets is seen leading the pack across a field, quickly at first, slowing down as the mud made his trainers seem more like Wellington boots. All that, only to find a false trail. As the harriers were making their way back to the check I heard my legitimacy called into dispute, (must try to find my birth certificate).
Running across a grassy field the feet were beginning to squelch and Blow Job was heard to be handing out local knowledge. When we arrived at the first held check even the most sophisticated of us looked rather wet and cold and ready to go straight back to the pub. Pass another pub to another check where the pack are off in the wrong direction, obviously the pack can't read the cunning minds of the 2 hares. When we are back on the trail Pecker and Cardiac are leading the pack up to the square and across the road up an alleyway to yet another check. Dan Dare is off in one direction and Cap'n 'Addock off in the other. The on is called almost simultaneously, unfortunately both are the wrong way, back to the check. Ebony has obviously tuned into the minds of the hares and ably accompanied by Shagpile calling on on up a gentle slope across the road still climbing to a held check were the hares give the option to the pack to break all the rules and run through a 'T' (but then there are no rules) or take a long loop. Penetrator is hoping that Ringkisser will do the long loop wrong!
Approximately 7 Harriers, 1 Harriet and 1 Ankle Biter decide to do the loop (don't you just wish you never got out of bed). So the pack splits and Penetrator is trying to hang in with all these fit persons and carry a bag of flour (which has now become just one big lump). We run down a path trying to dodge the puddles which weren't there a couple of hours ago. We come to the end of this path, 2 ways to go down or up. Why did I choose to lay the trail up the hill (most of us don't do hills). When we reach the summit, which is really exposed the wind and the rain is beating into our faces. Dan Dare thinks he is heading home and that Mekon has arranged an extra beer stop that wasn't even on our mind. Through a gap in the trees and along the edge of a ploughed field, shoe's beginning to feel like diving boots. Back into the tree line and out onto the road for a nice run home down the hill. Penetrator remarks to Dead Meat and White Rabbit what a beautiful view. The black clouds over head, the rain driving down and the water from the road lapping over our trainers, what more could you ask for. At the bottom of the hill a sharp right and along the road to a bar, back to find a foot path which has 2 unexpected obstacles a style which has been hidden by undergrowth and a really slippery bank. The on inn is found or should I say the on in and like drown rats it's back to the pub. Knobber is seen flashing jock strap, Dead Meat does a moonie and G-String does a Full Monty. I thought the film version was done in much better taste? Down downs where awarded in the pub to the hares, Dead Meat for his birthday, White Rabbit and Pongo for lost property, Ringkisser for her spelling mistake (what sort of a secretary is she, no spell checker?), Donut, Dan Dare and Cap'n 'Addock for turning up late.
On On from Penetrator and Ringkisser and a big thank you from the heart of our bottoms for turning up and really enjoying this hash.