Run No. 529 14th October 2001

The Hare & Hounds, Old Warden

Runners:  33
Mutts:  -
Ankle Biters:  -
Knitting Circle:  -
Apres:  -
Newies/Returnees:  -

When the Hash's 10th birthday arrived, there was only one place we could hold it and that was where it all started for us at the Hare and Hounds, Old Warden.

Having started to plan the run we could see why not many other Hashers have chosen this venue: a complete lack of decent footpaths, but let's not mince words here. It's crap! Having decided that other things on Saturday were more important - ie getting Florence not one, but two new pussies - we had no choice but to lay the bulk of the run on Sunday. Needless to say F'ka Duck moaned all morning about missing his lie in. In fact at 9.30 we still hadn't a clue at all where the run was going.

The circle was called late due to the grumpy landlord wanting the chariots moved. (I didn't dare tell the Hashers that he didn't want us to use the saloon bar either, or there would have been all out rebellion). There was an array of newies and oldies, very oldies and even oldiers. There was also a fine array of fancy dress in the theme of the day ie number 10. After introduction of the newies and Hash photos for the web, the On-On was called. Donut was first to find flour and led the pack up the first long and steep falsie. It's at this point that I wish I had paid more attention 'cos I'll be blowed if I can remember what happened, although you don't see a lot from the back anyway. Ringkisser was having severe difficulty with her antennae which kept bashing her in the face. They lasted about 50yds out of the car park before being amputated.

At the first check Shagpile managed to find not one but two bars. Im sure they were meant to be Ts, but I made the excuse that my co-hare can't spell! It was then On-On into the woods, so that Lunchbox could play with his football. After what seemed an eternity we came back out onto the road, only to have another long drag to the next check. Five FRBs, namely Cardiac, Pooper (or is it Scooper), Bell End, Shagpile and Lunchbox got sent to the rear, only Cardiac and Shagpile don't know where their rear is! After the next check G-String (AKA Moses) asked for divine guidance, however the good Lord lied and sent him up a falsie.

Several false trails later and the pack were starting to rebel. White Rabbit was concerned because she knew there were no footpaths back to the pub from where we were. Little did the pack know we had a cunning plan and had kindly been allowed by Mr Shuttleworth to run across his land. We duly headed across the estate towards the pub, with Rajah last seen heading in totally the opposite direction.

Back with the chariots, after general indecision, the circle was called in the pub garden. Cardiac and AN Other were heard to say "how could we expect decisions to be made when both the GM and HM are women". Down downs were awarded to the 5 newies, F'ka Duck and Florence for co-habiting and being hares, Stallion for (sorry we can't remember what but we're sure he deserved it), Rajah for physical abuse of the RA, Knobber for encouraging competitive running of a puppy, Shagpile for mobile phone abuse and Florence for squirting the RA's legs with her water pistol, for which she also got the Hashit. Most unfair I thought. Smelly thing is going straight in the washing machine. This will prove if the RA reads the words!

Boobs and bum birthday cake rounded off our birthday run nicely. I hope the GM won't mind if we say on behalf of the Hash thanks to everyone who has made it such a memorable 10 years and ON ON to the next 10.

F' KA Duck and Flo xx